Justifiable Behavior

My name is Madison McIntosh, and I’m from Gainesville, Florida. This story is about me and the bad choices I made while trying to find love. Whatever you do, don’t let the bad guys turn you against me. They are very clever at twisting things around to their favor.
You see, I lost my mom before I could ever lay eyes on her the day I was born. Sometimes I still get angry at her because she was warned not to get pregnant after she nearly died with a previous failed pregnancy, yet she insisted on having a child-and that child was me. It’s a tough call: her life or my existence, either way we both lost, and I don’t think Daddy ever got over it.
My father and I were alone until I reached age six. Eager to have a whole family, I helped him choose my stepmother but only because she had a daughter that was the same age as me.
When she moved in, I was so excited. I knew she was the right one for him! She pretended to have so much love for me instantly because I looked so much like my dad. Whatever! I didn’t realize how competitive and jealous she was with her daughter and me until I became a teenager.
In our younger years, if Tabitha and I would argue or fight, she would make us keep fighting until we were tired—leaning against one another shoulder-to-shoulder, head-to-head, resting our little bodies until we caught our breath. She would then separate us and make us go at it some more until we were both black and blue all over. When my dad would intervene, she would say that this was her way of making sure we’d never fight each other again—that we were sisters and the only way to remind us that sisters don’t fight is to make us fight until we couldn’t fight anymore-that we’d get it all out of our system. Needless to say, it pretty much worked. I couldn’t do anything back then except take whatever dish I was served. I guess you can say I was fed a whole lot of bullshit over the years.
Even today, I’m a grown woman who has grown accustomed to settling for leftovers or what little I could get. Bottom line is that I was left out, lonely, and was about to whiter away to dust if it had not been for the internet where I could be whoever I wanted to be.
When I read Avery’s profile, I fell in love immediately. He had talked about wanting a serious relationship and how he’s been hurt many times, and that he was reaching out once again to trust someone with his heart. But the one sentence in his profile that made me smile most was “No pictures please, I want to just write and get to know the woman that I choose before I lay eyes on her.”. He mentioned how looks was not important. He just seemed so real that I fell in love with him, and I felt he needed me. He had the family I never had. He was perfect besides the fact that he was oh so sexy and even better looking in person than on his pictures that we had finally exchanged. I couldn’t wait to rush home to read my emails each day, which went from night and day phone calls to flying to see him for a couple of weekends.

So there I was on my way to see him, staring out the plane’s window in Miami, Florida. The city looked beautiful from the sky, but Avery made it more fabulous on ground level. That’s why this time I had taken a week vacation to see him—a weekend was not enough time to be with the man I love. Something told me deep down that we were meant to be, and I was ready to follow my gut. I could feel it in the bottom of my stomach that this trip was going to be one that I would never forget.
When the plane landed, I stayed planted in my seat and continued to look out the window as the pushy passengers piled deep into the aisles. My heart fluttered and my belly filled with butterflies. I started trembling. I was in love. This was my third trip to see this man, yet each time I felt like a little girl inside. What was I thinking meeting a guy online and having a relationship with him so far from home? I could only point the finger at the fact that I’d just wanted to run away from my own family and never return. I guess I just felt like being reckless for a change, the way my stepsister Tabitha is. And I admit it felt good to miss-behave, especially when it came to Avery. He had me charmed. The minute I stepped off the plane, Avery’s face is all I searched for. The closer I got to the arrival gate, the more my heart pounded. He was easy to find, just look for the one who appeared most anxious. Avery didn’t seem nervous at all as he waited for me to reach him. He walked towards me in his relaxed fit jeans denims and a white shirt with peach pinstripes. A dark-skinned, smooth, clean-cut brother looking finer than ever. This time I knew he was going to have to break a sister off on this visit for sure.
“Hey baby!” I said as I stopped within two feet of him waiting for him to close the rest of the distance between us. He opened his arms wide for a hug.
“Come here girl,” he said with a huge grin as he pulled my face towards his for a kiss that soiled my panties. “So what would you like to do this week?”
“I don’t know, we could stay in-I mean you showed me the city the last two visits. I just want you this time.”
“Well not the entire week, but maybe tonight I can make that happen. Anyway do you like fish, are you hungry?”
“Famished, although we’re miles apart, don’t forget I’m still a Floridian. Of course I love fish.”
“Good, I prepared one of my special entrées, and I picked out some movies for us to chill. I’m going to take you out tomorrow to a house party one of my boys is having, you’ll get to meet the gang finally.”
“Can’t wait.” I smiled nervously, wondering if his friends knew how we met.
Avery grinned as he grabbed my suitcase from my hand. Once we got to the apartment and stepped off the 5th floor elevator, the hallway was lit up with the best smelling aroma. Avery pushed open his apartment door. A gentleman was opening a beer at the sink.
“Madison, this is Rock. He lives on the third floor and is also the superintendent and a former player for the Dallas Cowboys until he injured his knee.”
Rock extended his hand out with a shiny smile on his face.
“Nice to meet you. My boy talks about you all the time.”
“Pleased to meet you, too. I’m sorry to hear about your knee. You played with Emmit Smith? That must have been great?”
“It was nothing—that was so many years ago.” Rock turned to Avery and saluted him as he exited the door—he turned back to face us. “You two have fun.”
“We’ll be doing just that most definitely!” Avery said while wrapping his arms around me and kissing the back of my neck with his warm lips.
“What are you doing?” I asked, knowing I was ready for him, too.
“What does it look like, I’m kissing my woman.” As he placed another one, and another one on my lips and all down my neck, I couldn’t hold on to my purse any longer. I dropped my purse to the floor and he led me backwards into his bedroom, in a powerful lip lock position.
“I want you so bad, Madison, I can hardly wait.”
“Well I’m not going to.”
That was all it took for me to have said before he laid me halfway down across his bed. He pulled my top over my head and quickly unfastened my bra. He cupped my breasts into his hands kissing them and breathing hard moaning as if they tasted good to him. I moaned back as I tied my legs into a knot around his waist. He unwrapped my legs and pulled up my mini that I purposely wore. He began to lick right through my panties, biting softly with his lips.
“Oh my God,” I moaned. I eased my body up so he could slide my panties off and he positioned me to the center of the bed. “Take your clothes off, Avery. I need to see you.” I moaned. He quickly undid his buckle and kicked his way out of his jeans while he unbuttoned his shirt, nearly ripping off the final layer he tossed his wife-beater to the floor. Avery looked so scrumptious; I chewed at my bottom lip while I stared at him. He crawled towards me and quickly pinned my thighs back as he began to taste me until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“My body is on fire. Take me Avery, please.” I whispered passionately. “I needed this. I love you.” I kept whispering. The passion quickly stopped.
“Say what? Do you mean that Madison? Do you really love me?” he trembled to know, but his stare questioned my feelings. I was almost afraid to admit it was true—at least I thought it was true. I had hoped it to be true, and it damn sure felt true. “Did I say something wrong baby?” I refused to get twisted up in an all but too-soon-conversation, and I certainly was not trying to scare him.
“No, no don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with that at all. I like it—I like it a lot.” He kissed and sucked at my breast pulling my nipple into his mouth. “I love you to,” he said in his next breath.
I felt a sensational emotion of happiness. Avery slid on a condom and inserted himself inside of me. I lost my breath as he dug deep into my cervix opening doors and touching corners that no man had ever touched before. I moaned loud and talked sexy. I caught a glimpse of the time. Thirty minutes had passed as Avery made me feel like a new woman. He rolled off to his back and pulled me on top of him. I thought it was my turn to work him over but he lifted my butt cheeks in his strong hands and began moving me in the angles that he wanted my body to go, and then he asked. “Tell me when I hit your spot, Baby.”
“Okay,” I moaned as sweat dripped from my nostril. I sniffed and felt my nose begin to run. Avery continued to stir inside my body and slide me up and down his hard steel until I squealed, “Don’t stop baby, please!”
“Yeah I found it, didn’t I?” he asked.
I opened my eyes; he was looking right into them. “Yes baby you found it, you found it.” I said slowly. I never felt this before…my body began to tighten around his dick as I became frozen not wanting to let it go. He realized he had reached the right spot and he held me into place, I could feel the veins in my neck tighten fiercely and I let go finally and climaxed all over him. I know I must have looked hideous, but I was totally satisfied. My body shook like I’d been electrocuted. Gasping for air, I collapsed on his chest praying that he had cum too because there was nothing left of me. I lifted my head to speak between short breaths. “Did you cum?”
“You better know it! That was so good,” he answered
“That was the best ever,” I added
“Yeah that was a good one for you, wasn’t it?”
I nodded and I tried to relax. I rolled to my back—both our bodies were soaking wet. The sheet had come undone from the bed from being at it for over an hour. I had never cum like that ever in my life…In fact, I don’t think I had ever cum before after feeling what I had just felt.
I lay inside his arm between the sweaty bed sheets playing his sexual moves over and over in my head like it had been recorded. My body still quivered and I was exhausted like hell. I just stared at his body; ripped like I don’t know what—his sweetness looks prettier than an oversized snicker bar during my monthly cycle.
He pulled me closer to him. “Are you ready for seconds?”
I just smiled knowing he’s just as exhausted as I was. I patted his chest and shook my head. “No.” I whispered turning my body away from him holding my breath trying to calm my breathing to the point that only I alone could hear it.
He laughed at me with one leg arched, but suddenly noticed I wasn’t smiling.
“Okay what’s on your brain…spit it out?” He demanded to know.
“I’m just thinking…and I know I just got here, but it’s going to be pretty hard to leave you on Sunday morning.” I don’t know why but I felt the need to throw that out there.
“Yeah well just like last time, isn’t that normal? We still got our emails, the telephone and other ways of dealing with pleasing one another, the same way we did the day before your flight here, which was pretty damn good for phone sex. Maybe I can visit you next time.”
“Yeah I know, it’s just that um well—,”
“The dick got you, huh?” Avery chuckled, grabbing hold of his goods. “Don’t worry, I understand. It has the same effect on every woman I’ve ever been with.”
“Now that was an insensitive thing to say! I guess the I-love-you part was just natural sex talk.” I got out of bed and walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice. I leaned against the kitchen sink and noticed that Avery had a photo of me from my profile stuck on his fridge. It enabled me to crack a slight smile.
“Wow what a relief. I thought you were upset so what brought about the smile?” he asked while tying a knot to fasten his robe.
“Oh I’m still upset with you, but I’m not going to let it spoil things. I’m here now; I may as well make the best of it.” I untied the knotted loop and began to draw my attention below his navel. Avery backed away slowly rubbing both hands over his face as if he was worried or stressed. He seemed to be struggling for words. “Do you want to go back to Gainesville?” He managed to force from his lips.
“I took a week off; I’m due back to work next Monday. Avery, of course I have to go back.”
“That wasn’t the question—let me ask you again. Do you want to go back to Gainesville to stay?” He grabbed my hand inside his, “The key word here is want. It’s as simple as one-two-three. Now can I get a yes or no answer, Madison McIntosh?”
“No, I don’t…but I just bought a car. I’ve signed a new lease…I’ve got bills, and I don’t even want to worry about what my father would say when I tell him.” What the hell am I thinking? This is exactly what I wanted, so why can’t I just say yes and be done? My thoughts were edging me forward. Nervous and speechless, we both walked to the couch and took a seat.
Avery sighed again rubbing his head. “I don’t know, Babe. You pretty much got me on that one. I’m not a rich man. I do own my own business and I’m doing all right—I can probably cover your bills for a few months until you’re back on your feet and able to help yourself.”
I noticed the grief in Avery’s face as if this was going to be hard for him. I reached out and grabbed him around the neck bringing his lips to mine and sealed the deal with a kiss. “Yes, I’d love to stay with you, but you have to promise me that this is what you want and that I’m not putting you out of your expenses or anything.”
“Let me worry about what I can do—okay?”
“Ok, Baby, I am all yours.”
“Now are you ready to taste this fine recipe I cooked?” He said as he walked away into the kitchen and I followed.
“Yes, after I shower.”
Avery eased me out of the kitchen. “Go ahead and start the shower while I get things situated.” He patted my butt as he pushed me towards the bathroom door. “I will join you in a few minutes.”
We showered, and finished eating one delicious dinner, then we cuddled on the couch and watched, ‘Two Can Play That Game’, and ‘Brothers.’ I had dozed off with a full stomach while watching ‘Brothers.’ Avery awakened me to go to the bedroom where he had replaced the sheets and the bed was nice and fresh only for us to start all over again.

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